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This dilemma struck me less than a year ago, but God is a faithful Father to his children who are seeking. He made His Word available, to guide us and lead us. Not to mention its free for all.
I only have two words to watch out for, Leave or Stay. That time, I was reading the book of Romans, until I reach 1st Corinthians,
In that case you would have to leave this world. --1 Corinthians 5:7-9Wow! I was ecstatic, God knew this is the very word I wanted to hear from Him, weighing all the options, it's all logical to leave. Leaving makes more sense, not only according to me but according to the world. But there's a part in my heart that is not yet convince, since I am a believer that God's word is consistent and does not contradict, I continue reading on, praying that God would reinforce my option to leave.
Oh no, now I am confuse. Not prepared for a scripture that leads to other side of the weighing scale, I don't know how to reconcile this discrepancy. My mind tells me to leave after all I already have 1 Corinthians 5:7-9 as confirmation. But why does my heart prove my motivation, is it really God's will or my own will. One more time I settle to continue reading His Word to seek answers and finally come to a conclusion immediately.
At first I was mixed up with this verse, maybe because I was still hoping to see words blessing me to leave. But after checking the context of the scripture and seeking godly advise from discipleship group, God's answer became clearer to me.
That day I made the choice to stay and said goodbye to the new door opened for me. I was heartbroken. I knew I obeyed Him but why do I feel I failed my future self. Just when I started to feel I made a bad call of throwing away an opportunity that might never come again, I ask God to encourage me and reassure me that I made the right decision.
As for my issues that I might be wasting a great opportunity, the Lord rebuked me in my quiet time the next day:
He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? --Romans 8:32Looking back in this crossroad I had last year, I am glad I seek His heart before making the decision. More than me seeking God, I knew that it is God who first seek and found me.