I heard this funny sharing during one of our midweek service, and I can't wait to google it and post it in my blog.
Let's uncover what's written in a dog's diary and compare to its no.1 rival - the cat. As to how these diaries are found, I just need you to trust me on this...
Day number 1081
8:00 am - Oh boy! DOG FOOD! My favorite!
9:30 am - Oh boy! A CAR RIDE! My favorite!
9:40 am - Oh boy! A WALK! My favorite!
10:30 am - Oh boy! A CAR RIDE! My favorite!
11:30 am - Oh boy! DOG FOOD! My favorite!
12:00 noon - Oh boy! THE KIDS! My favorite!
1:00 pm - Oh boy! THE YARD! My favorite!
4:00 pm - Oh boy! THE KIDS! My favorite!
5:00 PM - Oh boy! DOG FOOD! My favorite!
5:30 PM - Oh boy! MOM! My favorite!
Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. But for now I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
Funny right?! Now the question is, Are you more of a dog or a cat?