13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do: They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

Do you worry about being perceived as a failure by other people? Do you only participate in things you are most likely to excel in? If your first attempt did not work out well, would you like to try again? 

Your self-worth is not linked to your ability to succeed. While the thought of failing maybe unsettling, failure does not necessarily have to be the end. It can be the beginning of a long journey to success.

Giving up can also be a learned behavior. Always expecting someone to come to us for a rescue can be a hard habit to break. Others are fixated on the mindset that they have limited ability so why bother to improve if you don’t have it in the first place.

If you give up on your first failure, you missed out on a lot of opportunities that you could have learned from it. Failure makes success more rewarding. Failing once does not necessarily mean you will fail again. Research about perseverance and failure says the deliberate practice is more important than natural talent. Most talents can be cultivated through hard work. Research studies have found that after ten years of daily practice, people can surpass others with natural talent in chess, sports, music, and the visual arts. After twenty years of dedicated practice, many people who lack natural talent can gain world-class achievement. But often we believe that talent is something you have in you or you don’t. This way of thinking may lead you to give up without even trying.

Grit is a better predictor of success than IQ. Grit defines a person’s perseverance and passion for long-term goals.

Here are some thoughts on failure that will likely discourage you:

Failure is unacceptable. You are either a complete success or a complete failure.

Failure is always my fault. You are not good enough to succeed.

Instead, you can look at failure this way:

Focus on your efforts instead of the outcome. What you can gain from the challenge? Can you learn something new? Can you improve your skills?

Self-compassion may not necessarily mean high self-esteem. Don’t be too hard on yourself as this may lead to a resignation that you are not good enough. At the same time don’t be too easy on you as this may lead to excuses. Self-compassion strikes just the right balance. It means viewing your failures kindly but realistically. That everyone has shortcomings including you but there is room to grow and improve.

Failures are part of the journey to success. You can handle failure. You can learn from your failures. Failure is a sign that you are challenging yourself and you can choose to try again.

Face your fear of failure. If you get used to failing, it becomes a lot less scary especially once you learn that failure and rejection are not the worst things that can happen to you.

Move forward after failure. Spend some time evaluating your failure and how you want to proceed. Learn from failures so you can do better next time. Sometimes it means improving your skills, other times it may mean looking for other opportunities where your skills will be appreciated.

View failure as a learning opportunity. Resolve to try again if your first attempt is not successful. Face your fear of failure. Develop a new plan to increase your chance of success. Focus on improving your skills.