Last week, I have this "personal" burden to help a good friend of mine in her mission trip, when I say personal, I meant just "me" in the picture. I planned to give her something which "I" can afford to give. Something "I" consider good enough for her which at the same time not hard enough for "me". But the Lord seized my heart and rebuked me.
These past 2 weeks I started reading the book of Acts from the Bible, which is basically the story of acts of the 12 disciples of Jesus after the Resurrection. And I just can't explain why I was kept reverted to this passage, although I already read them 2-3 days ago.
32The group of followers all felt the same way about everything. None of them claimed that their possessions were their own, and they shared everything they had with each other. 33In a powerful way the apostles told everyone that the Lord Jesus was now alive. God greatly blessed his followers, [a] 34and no one went in need of anything. Everyone who owned land or houses would sell them and bring the money 35to the apostles. Then they would give the money to anyone who needed it. 36-37Joseph was one of the followers who had sold a piece of property and brought the money to the apostles. He was a Levite from Cyprus, and the apostles called him Barnabas, which means "one who encourages others."
But still I bargain with the Lord, and tries to justify that what I have decided to give her was good enough. In spite of my justification I feel so restless.
Come Friday, March 27 a day before our "Run for a Cause", I have a quiet time with God and my devotion that very day was the following verse:
1 Timothy 6:8
8But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.
Then again God bring me back to Acts 4:32-37 now with a different perspective. I realized I'm not even selling a property to be able to help this friend, just like what the disciples did to support the ministry of God. Then the Lord impressed on me very clearly - whatever amount I would raised tomorrow on our "Run for a Cause," that same value I would give to her. This time I didn't bargain with the Lord... It may sound complicated and hard to comprehend for others but here are my 3 simple reasons why I did it:
- I'm not doing it because I'm rich(though my Father is -wink-), I'm doing it because I felt blessed to have the chance to help a fellow believer to support God's work.
- I'm not doing it because I think its the right thing to do, I'm doing it because God told me so.
- Lastly, I'm doing it because I understand that the money I'll be sharing to her does not come from me, anyway, it comes from my Father so why bother :D :D
To God be the glory!!!
I had this sort of realization:
When God speaks, are we willing to listen? are we ready to obey? are we going to step out of faith and trust Him on this? We could always say "NO" friend and remain in our comfort zone, but (a big BUT) we're also saying NO to the greater things that we could have experienced out of it.