Book: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck

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Authored by Mark Manson and published in 2016, this New York Times Bestseller book provides counterintuitive and practical principles on how to approach and live a good life. The title may not sound like it but the book gives hope in spite of all the problems we encounter. A painfully honest source of empowerment.

Here's a refreshing snippet of how to view the success, happiness, and struggles we encounter and how Mark re-defines pain.

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Pain serves a purpose.

Emotions never last. Whatever makes us happy today will no longer make us happy tomorrow. Fixation to happiness amounts to the never-ending pursuit of something else - relationship, house, child, pay raise.

The person you marry is the person you fight with.

The house you buy is the house you repair.

The dream job that you take is the job you stress over.

Everything comes with an inherent sacrifice.

Whatever makes us feel good will inevitably make us feel bad.

What we gain is also what we lose.

What creates our positive experiences will define our negative experiences.

Choose your struggle.

Usually, we hear the question, "What do you like out of life?" or "What is your goal in life?" The normal answer to this is -- To be happy, have a great family, and a thriving career.

This response does not mean anything. Everyone enjoys feeling good and have a carefree life. A more interesting question is “What pain do you like in your life?” or “What are you willing to struggle for?”

For example, most people would like to have a higher position but not many people want to suffer the 60-hour workweek. Most people would like a great relationship but not everyone is willing to go through the tough conversation, awkward silences, and the emotional psychodrama that leads there. 

Happiness requires struggle. People want an amazing physique, but you don’t end up with one unless you appreciate the physical pain from your workout and gym. People want to start their own business, but you don’t become a successful entrepreneur unless you appreciate the risk, the uncertainty, repeated failures, and insane hour devoted to that something. People want a partner, but you don’t end up attracting someone attractive without appreciating the emotional turbulence that comes with weathering rejections. It’s part of the game of love, you can’t win if you don’t play.

What determines your success in life is not what you want to enjoy. 

The relevant question is, "What pain do you want to sustain?"