Book: Ten Times Happier

Written by psychotherapist, speaker, and bestselling author Owen O'kane, "Ten Times Happier" will guide you on how to let go of what's holding you back. A practical guide to take control, change your life, and choose happiness no matter what life throws at you.

Stop looking back, you are not going that way.

Imagine a window and wall opposite each other. The window represents the future that looks more hopeful, while the dark wall represents all the difficulties of the past. Which view do you want to focus on? Which view do you usually spend most of the time in your everyday life? What do you think could be a problem with spending a lot of time focusing on the wall? If you stay stuck looking at the wall, you have your back turned away from the window.

The dark wall would always be there but rather than ignore or deny it, you can learn from those dark past experiences and help you move forward.

Managing your past

Here are five alternative options for managing the past:

1. You don't need to replay the event over and over again, that achieves nothing rather than keeping you stuck in the past.

2. Ease up with your self-judgment, self-blaming or punishment is never helpful.

3. Remember whatever happened it's over now and you have survived.

4. Taking care of yourself is of utmost importance. Do this with compassion.

5. None of what happened can be changed now. You deserve a happier future.

The human mind and thought patterns

Your thoughts are just thoughts, not facts. 

Here are four simple techniques to help you change your thought patterns.

1. Acknowledge an unhealthy thought.

2. Create space. When the mind is creating negative or unhelpful content, you have a choice on how engaged you become with it. Do not accept your thoughts as true. Direct your mind, not your mind directing you.

3. Examine the evidence. Challenge thoughts like "you are not good enough", "you are a failure", etc.

4. Let go of unhealthy thoughts.